STICKY FINGERS opens with a shot of two people walking in unison down a street while a typically 80’s instrumental song is on the soundtrack.

From that scene, I had high hopes in the film.

The premise seems solid. Roommates Helen Slater and Melanie Mayron, down on their luck, are asked to watch a case containing $900,000 left to them by their pot dealer. Plenty of possibilities there.

The supporting cast contains Eileen Brennan, Carol Kane and Christopher Guest.

So, watching that opening, I was thinking this could be a film I could champion. It could be a Forgotten Film that shouldn't be forgotten.

Then, one of the two steps in dog crap. And, that pretty much sums up the film.

This film is an absolute, complete disaster. Nothing about it works on any level. It isn’t funny. It isn’t interesting. It is boring and ineptly made.

Take the premise. It could be an exercise in a screenwriting class to turn it into something. A lot of potential, but this film doesn’t know where to go. And when it finally goes somewhere, it doesn’t go anywhere interesting.

The leads are not good. I liked Mayron on “thirtysomething” but here she is screechy and abrasive. Only Carol Kane manages to bring anything to the film.

I really hate to attack director Catlin Adams, who other than this film only directed a TV movie, an after-school special and an episode of 90210, but she doesn’t know what she is doing. Some scenes are shot only in close up, with no medium shots to tell us just where the characters are, or what they are doing.

In one of the worst shots, someone opens up a closet door. When it slowly swings open, a mirror on the door reveals the whole crew, complete with camera and playback monitor. How could they not know about this before shooting? Didn't they even do a run through? Even worse, later in the film, the same door opens and the mirror is gone. They obviously knew what happened. Why didn’t they reshoot?

Who is to blame for this unwatchable travesty? Sadly, Melanie Mayron. Again, I’ve liked her as an actress. But not only did she star in this, she co-wrote and produced it.

The film was one of the last releases of a studio called Spectrafilm. It didn't play in many theatres, if any. Released to video by Media, I don't know who owns it today. And honestly, I don't care.

Everyone should watch this film. Not because it is a good film, but just to show you how bad films can get. There is literally nothing in this film to recommend.