Thirty-three three-minute shorts by thirty-three filmmakers to mark the occasion of the twice-thirty anniversary of the Cannes film festival. Themes vary, but general idea seems to be of the "what does cinema mean to you" variety, with Fellini and Godard thrown in for good measure. For the cynically astute, on the other hand, it wouldn't be out of place to call To Each His Cinema a big cinematic circle jerk, with enough splooge for everyone. If that seems a bit revolting, well, just don't be cynical. And enjoy cinema being celebrated by itself.
Now, some sentence fragments about each film.
Open-Air Cinema
d. Raymond Depardon
Very good, one of best. Crowd gathers to watch cinema on rooftop. Have no idea who director is. No real plot. But has beautiful look of polished photo-journalism. Naturalistic.
One Fine Day
d. Takeshi Kitano
Average. Farmer goes to cinema, Kitano works projector amid some foul-ups. Dryly surreal. Made me smile only because film-within-film is Kitano's touching Kids Return, a favourite.
Three Minutes
d. Theo Angelopoulos
Below average, was surprised to see Angelopoulos' name at the end. Old, ugly Jeanne Moreau meets dead Marcello Mastroianni and philosophizes for a minute. Fawning seriousness.
In the Dark
d. Andrei Konchalovsky
Above average, endearing. Older woman leaves post ("back in 15 minutes") to watch Fellini's 8 1/2 and cries. Only other people in cinema: young couple making out. When film finishes, changes sign ("sold out") and starts film from beginning. Melancholy, light. Poster for 8 1/2 next to Coca Cola posters give political meaning.
Diary of a Spectator
d. Nanni Moretti
Good, straightforward. Moretti takes literal approach, talks about cinema memories. Substantial for running time, with nice, subtle compositions.
The Electric Princess House
d. Hou Hsiao-Hsien
Below average, one-trick. Same cinema, then (gold) and now (old). Nostalgic with two images more personal than universal. Not without merit, but too long. Short film in long take aesthetic.
Darkness
d. the Dardennes Brothers
Good, with good ending. Boy stalks silently through cinema to steal girl's purse. Girl watches sad movie. Girl accidentally catches boy's hand, but instead of scolding, they resort to holding, as girl takes boy's hand and puts it to own face. Technically so-so, but elevated by concept.
Anna
d. Alejandro González Iñárritu
Average. Blind woman reacts to Godard film. One nice shot of transition from world inside to world outside theater. But too tedious and delibarate.
Movie Night
d. Yimou Zhang
Very good, one of best. Rich, and pleasant surprise because do not like Yimou Zhang. Cinema comes to remote China. Aging, first love, and childhood unfold. Also, one of few to not use long take. Very nice all-around.
The Dybbuk of Haifa
d. Amos Gitai
Awful. Jews in 1936 Warsaw paralleled with Jews sixty years later in Israel, watching same movie but with Hebrew subtitles. Movie stopped, air raid siren. Bomb comes. Big explosion, people die. Amateurish in all respects: technique, production, politics.
The Lady Bug
d. Jane Campion
Average, didn't understand. Man in cinema tries to kill ladybug, but ladybug actually fat woman dancing. Eventually, man crushes her with foot. Huh? Effects not bad.
Artaud Double Bill
d. Atom Egoyan
Very good, one of best. Sci-fi feel. Two people go to two movies, then share movies with each other using cellphone cams. Unlike most shorts, Egoyan's looks to future. Good use of technology. Rich and varied textures. Worth watching again.
The Foundry
d. Aki Kaurismäki
Average, slightly confused. Foundry workers go to cinema and see propaganda. Very Kaurismäki style, with less than expected actions and reactions. Dry, with vibrant colours.
Upsurge
d. Olivier Assayas
Very good, one of best. Young couple go to cinema. Followed by young bearded man. When couple make slight love, bearded man steal's young woman's purse. Unlike most other shorts, Assayas not in love with movie theatre but with cinema. Has gritty, realistic, night-time quality. Mysterious. Excellent editing. Worth seeing again.
47 Years Later
d. Youssef Chahine
Awful, one of worst. Chahine pays homage to self in bad short. Note: never watch another Chahine film.
It's a Dream
d. Tsai Ming-Ling
Very good, one of best. Most emotional. Tsai dreams about cinema and family in handful of beautiful shots. Feeling of cinema being personal even amid crowd. Idea of cinema as woven into memories. Magical. Worth watching again.
Occupations
d. Lars von Trier
Above average, as expected from Trier: creative, self-absorbed. Trier at own screening (Manderlay), next to annoying talking man. Annoying talking man tells Trier about job, then asks trier what he does. Trier says "I kill you!" and kills annoying talking man in theatre with axe in violent but funny way. Mean but entertaining.
The Gift
d. Raul Ruiz
Above average, but did not understand all. Blind anthropologist talks to niece in a cinema about South American tribe making wooden radio that projects Casablanca in three minutes. Colourful butterflies make appearance. Then woman flees. Huh?
The Cinema Around the Corner
d. Claude Lelouch
Average. Lelouch shows own history through trips to cinema. Nice tribute to parents, OK short.
First Kiss
d. Gus van Sant
Average. Boy works projector. Projects tropical waters. Woman in bikini appears. Boy takes off clothes, enters screen and kisses woman. Don't understand point. Not awful, just unfulfilling.
Cinema Erotique
d. Roman Polanski
Very good, one of best. Older French couple in cinema watching softcore porno. Only other cinema-goer, a shaggy and unshaven man in coat who is reclined and moaning. Wife tells husband to tell moaning man to stop. Husband gets usherette, who gets manager. Manager goes to moaning man. Who is moaning not from masturbation but because he fell from top of cinema! Funny, like a sickness, from Polanski. Nice cartoonish, lively quality.
No Translation Needed
d. Michael Cimino
Below average. Cimino films music video for Cuban singer. She likes video for time, then does not. Attempts to strangle Cimino. Huh?
At The Suicide of the Last Jew in the World in the Last Cinema in the World
d. David Cronenberg
Good. Last Jew attempts suicide while on live TV camera with TV personalities making stupid but catchy comments. A little satirical, a little zany. Much harsher and different from others, but not cinematically ambitious.
I Travelled 9000 km To Give It To You
d. Wong Kar Wai
Average. Young man in cinema gropes or falls in love with woman. Woman maybe falls in love back. Then it is all a film within a film. I think. Rendered through failed impressionism. Fails at own goal, but still interesting.
Where Is My Romeo?
d. Abbas Kiarostami
Above average. Women of different ages in cinema watching adaptation of Rome & Juliet. Tears. Last woman is older, real person. Short dedicated to her. In the end, sweet.
The Last Dating Show
d. Bille August
Above average. Nerdy Dane meets cute Iranian woman in front of cinema. Three men nearby, rowdy. Inside cinema, nerdy Dane says each line of dialogue to cute Iranian woman in English. Three rowdy men become angry, make racist comments. Nerdy Dane and cute Iranian woman leave. She wants to know how film ends, if characters get married. Nerdy Dane says they do. Then, cute Iranian says left motorcycle helmet in cinema. Nerdy Dane goes in to get it, but gets caught up in film. Meanwhile, cute Iranian woman accosted by three rowdy racist men. Nerdy Dane realizes time, runs out. Cute Iranian woman gone. Suddenly, there they all are: watching end of film in projectionist's booth, with three rowdy racist men translating for cute Iranian woman. She says "I do not think they get married" as woman in film machine guns man. Best short at telling actual story, but otherwise only average.
Irtebak
d. Elia Suleiman
Average. Director spends nervous moments in cinema bathroom as premiere goes on. Then ready to talk to small audience, but must move car. Kaurismäki style, but better than Kaurismäki short.
Sole Meeting
d. Manoel De Oliveira
Average. Khrushchev meets Pope. Dramatization of real event. Funny (When Comrade Pope tells Catholics to pray, Catholic pray"), but sub-par technically.
5,557 Miles from Cannes
d. Walter Salles
Good. Simple, but very entertaining. Two Brazilian entertainers bang drums and rap about Cannes in lewd but innocent way in front of cinema showing The 400 Blows. In end, neither actually been to Cannes. Different rhythm, idea than other shorts. Also nice to see cinema as catalyst for other type of creativity.
War In Peace
d. Wim Wenders
Good. Wenders takes camera deep into Congo. Shows people watching movie on small TV in large tent. Part filmed with night vision becomes frightening. Ends with declaration of first peace in region in one hundred years. Cinema from an interesting place in the present.
Zhanxiou Village
d. Chen Kaige
Average. Boys watching silent film make scene from silent film when use bicycles to power projector. Man comes, chases them away. But one stays and asks to see rest of film. Flash forward, man is older, blind, comes to bigger cinema with red seats. Too sugary.
Happy Ending
d. Ken Loach
Very good, one of best. Father and son stand in cinema line, read movie descriptions. Cannot decide what to see. Other people get impatient. Finally, they decide: no movie, let's go watch some footie instead. Very nice depiction of father and son relationship, and clever way to say that nothing good in cinemas anymore. Pessimistic, but not. Sly.
Overall, To Each His Cinema is worth watching. If you're familiar with the individual filmmakers, it's neat to try and pick out elements of their styles, and see which go against their typical styles; if not, it's also neat to take the thirty-three shorts together and identify some common stylistic aspects of contemporary cinema.
Will the film ultimately make you love cinema any more than you do? Most likely, not. Then again, like in all circle jerks, your satisfaction probably depends on how much you like the object being collectively drooled over. If you don't fancy cinema (and, generally, one specific type of cinema: that celebrated by the French arthouse crowd), then you just may end up looking around and wondering why the hell you're standing here, whacking, with these thirty-two men and one woman. If, however, you don't mind this type of cinema, then whack on!
Now, some sentence fragments about each film.
Open-Air Cinema
d. Raymond Depardon
Very good, one of best. Crowd gathers to watch cinema on rooftop. Have no idea who director is. No real plot. But has beautiful look of polished photo-journalism. Naturalistic.
One Fine Day
d. Takeshi Kitano
Average. Farmer goes to cinema, Kitano works projector amid some foul-ups. Dryly surreal. Made me smile only because film-within-film is Kitano's touching Kids Return, a favourite.
Three Minutes
d. Theo Angelopoulos
Below average, was surprised to see Angelopoulos' name at the end. Old, ugly Jeanne Moreau meets dead Marcello Mastroianni and philosophizes for a minute. Fawning seriousness.
In the Dark
d. Andrei Konchalovsky
Above average, endearing. Older woman leaves post ("back in 15 minutes") to watch Fellini's 8 1/2 and cries. Only other people in cinema: young couple making out. When film finishes, changes sign ("sold out") and starts film from beginning. Melancholy, light. Poster for 8 1/2 next to Coca Cola posters give political meaning.
Diary of a Spectator
d. Nanni Moretti
Good, straightforward. Moretti takes literal approach, talks about cinema memories. Substantial for running time, with nice, subtle compositions.
The Electric Princess House
d. Hou Hsiao-Hsien
Below average, one-trick. Same cinema, then (gold) and now (old). Nostalgic with two images more personal than universal. Not without merit, but too long. Short film in long take aesthetic.
Darkness
d. the Dardennes Brothers
Good, with good ending. Boy stalks silently through cinema to steal girl's purse. Girl watches sad movie. Girl accidentally catches boy's hand, but instead of scolding, they resort to holding, as girl takes boy's hand and puts it to own face. Technically so-so, but elevated by concept.
Anna
d. Alejandro González Iñárritu
Average. Blind woman reacts to Godard film. One nice shot of transition from world inside to world outside theater. But too tedious and delibarate.
Movie Night
d. Yimou Zhang
Very good, one of best. Rich, and pleasant surprise because do not like Yimou Zhang. Cinema comes to remote China. Aging, first love, and childhood unfold. Also, one of few to not use long take. Very nice all-around.
The Dybbuk of Haifa
d. Amos Gitai
Awful. Jews in 1936 Warsaw paralleled with Jews sixty years later in Israel, watching same movie but with Hebrew subtitles. Movie stopped, air raid siren. Bomb comes. Big explosion, people die. Amateurish in all respects: technique, production, politics.
The Lady Bug
d. Jane Campion
Average, didn't understand. Man in cinema tries to kill ladybug, but ladybug actually fat woman dancing. Eventually, man crushes her with foot. Huh? Effects not bad.
Artaud Double Bill
d. Atom Egoyan
Very good, one of best. Sci-fi feel. Two people go to two movies, then share movies with each other using cellphone cams. Unlike most shorts, Egoyan's looks to future. Good use of technology. Rich and varied textures. Worth watching again.
The Foundry
d. Aki Kaurismäki
Average, slightly confused. Foundry workers go to cinema and see propaganda. Very Kaurismäki style, with less than expected actions and reactions. Dry, with vibrant colours.
Upsurge
d. Olivier Assayas
Very good, one of best. Young couple go to cinema. Followed by young bearded man. When couple make slight love, bearded man steal's young woman's purse. Unlike most other shorts, Assayas not in love with movie theatre but with cinema. Has gritty, realistic, night-time quality. Mysterious. Excellent editing. Worth seeing again.
47 Years Later
d. Youssef Chahine
Awful, one of worst. Chahine pays homage to self in bad short. Note: never watch another Chahine film.
It's a Dream
d. Tsai Ming-Ling
Very good, one of best. Most emotional. Tsai dreams about cinema and family in handful of beautiful shots. Feeling of cinema being personal even amid crowd. Idea of cinema as woven into memories. Magical. Worth watching again.
Occupations
d. Lars von Trier
Above average, as expected from Trier: creative, self-absorbed. Trier at own screening (Manderlay), next to annoying talking man. Annoying talking man tells Trier about job, then asks trier what he does. Trier says "I kill you!" and kills annoying talking man in theatre with axe in violent but funny way. Mean but entertaining.
The Gift
d. Raul Ruiz
Above average, but did not understand all. Blind anthropologist talks to niece in a cinema about South American tribe making wooden radio that projects Casablanca in three minutes. Colourful butterflies make appearance. Then woman flees. Huh?
The Cinema Around the Corner
d. Claude Lelouch
Average. Lelouch shows own history through trips to cinema. Nice tribute to parents, OK short.
First Kiss
d. Gus van Sant
Average. Boy works projector. Projects tropical waters. Woman in bikini appears. Boy takes off clothes, enters screen and kisses woman. Don't understand point. Not awful, just unfulfilling.
Cinema Erotique
d. Roman Polanski
Very good, one of best. Older French couple in cinema watching softcore porno. Only other cinema-goer, a shaggy and unshaven man in coat who is reclined and moaning. Wife tells husband to tell moaning man to stop. Husband gets usherette, who gets manager. Manager goes to moaning man. Who is moaning not from masturbation but because he fell from top of cinema! Funny, like a sickness, from Polanski. Nice cartoonish, lively quality.
No Translation Needed
d. Michael Cimino
Below average. Cimino films music video for Cuban singer. She likes video for time, then does not. Attempts to strangle Cimino. Huh?
At The Suicide of the Last Jew in the World in the Last Cinema in the World
d. David Cronenberg
Good. Last Jew attempts suicide while on live TV camera with TV personalities making stupid but catchy comments. A little satirical, a little zany. Much harsher and different from others, but not cinematically ambitious.
I Travelled 9000 km To Give It To You
d. Wong Kar Wai
Average. Young man in cinema gropes or falls in love with woman. Woman maybe falls in love back. Then it is all a film within a film. I think. Rendered through failed impressionism. Fails at own goal, but still interesting.
Where Is My Romeo?
d. Abbas Kiarostami
Above average. Women of different ages in cinema watching adaptation of Rome & Juliet. Tears. Last woman is older, real person. Short dedicated to her. In the end, sweet.
The Last Dating Show
d. Bille August
Above average. Nerdy Dane meets cute Iranian woman in front of cinema. Three men nearby, rowdy. Inside cinema, nerdy Dane says each line of dialogue to cute Iranian woman in English. Three rowdy men become angry, make racist comments. Nerdy Dane and cute Iranian woman leave. She wants to know how film ends, if characters get married. Nerdy Dane says they do. Then, cute Iranian says left motorcycle helmet in cinema. Nerdy Dane goes in to get it, but gets caught up in film. Meanwhile, cute Iranian woman accosted by three rowdy racist men. Nerdy Dane realizes time, runs out. Cute Iranian woman gone. Suddenly, there they all are: watching end of film in projectionist's booth, with three rowdy racist men translating for cute Iranian woman. She says "I do not think they get married" as woman in film machine guns man. Best short at telling actual story, but otherwise only average.
Irtebak
d. Elia Suleiman
Average. Director spends nervous moments in cinema bathroom as premiere goes on. Then ready to talk to small audience, but must move car. Kaurismäki style, but better than Kaurismäki short.
Sole Meeting
d. Manoel De Oliveira
Average. Khrushchev meets Pope. Dramatization of real event. Funny (When Comrade Pope tells Catholics to pray, Catholic pray"), but sub-par technically.
5,557 Miles from Cannes
d. Walter Salles
Good. Simple, but very entertaining. Two Brazilian entertainers bang drums and rap about Cannes in lewd but innocent way in front of cinema showing The 400 Blows. In end, neither actually been to Cannes. Different rhythm, idea than other shorts. Also nice to see cinema as catalyst for other type of creativity.
War In Peace
d. Wim Wenders
Good. Wenders takes camera deep into Congo. Shows people watching movie on small TV in large tent. Part filmed with night vision becomes frightening. Ends with declaration of first peace in region in one hundred years. Cinema from an interesting place in the present.
Zhanxiou Village
d. Chen Kaige
Average. Boys watching silent film make scene from silent film when use bicycles to power projector. Man comes, chases them away. But one stays and asks to see rest of film. Flash forward, man is older, blind, comes to bigger cinema with red seats. Too sugary.
Happy Ending
d. Ken Loach
Very good, one of best. Father and son stand in cinema line, read movie descriptions. Cannot decide what to see. Other people get impatient. Finally, they decide: no movie, let's go watch some footie instead. Very nice depiction of father and son relationship, and clever way to say that nothing good in cinemas anymore. Pessimistic, but not. Sly.
Overall, To Each His Cinema is worth watching. If you're familiar with the individual filmmakers, it's neat to try and pick out elements of their styles, and see which go against their typical styles; if not, it's also neat to take the thirty-three shorts together and identify some common stylistic aspects of contemporary cinema.
Will the film ultimately make you love cinema any more than you do? Most likely, not. Then again, like in all circle jerks, your satisfaction probably depends on how much you like the object being collectively drooled over. If you don't fancy cinema (and, generally, one specific type of cinema: that celebrated by the French arthouse crowd), then you just may end up looking around and wondering why the hell you're standing here, whacking, with these thirty-two men and one woman. If, however, you don't mind this type of cinema, then whack on!
