If there was an announcement made today that Sam Raimi was going to direct a movie from a screenplay written by The Coen Brothers (starring Bruce Campbell, no less), I don’t think there’s a film geek alive who wouldn’t lose their mind. Based on their impressive filmographies and the cult followings that both have amassed, a collaboration of this magnitude would be a cinematic event like no other. But what if I told you that such a movie already existed, and not only did it bomb at the box office, but still remains to this day, exceedingly hard to find on DVD?

Back at the beginning of their careers, Sam Raimi and The Coen Brothers were all a part of the same scene of up-and-coming Midwest filmmakers, and Joel Coen landed one of his first film gigs as assistant editor on The Evil Dead. A couple of years later, The Coen Brothers had written and directed their first film, Blood Simple, and Raimi was developing his next movie. He asked The Coens to write the script for him, and the result was Crimewave.

Originally titled The XYZ Murders, this was Raimi’s first time working with an actual studio, and it turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Raimi described it as the worst time of his life, and Bruce Campbell has not so fond memories of a miserable winter shoot in Detroit and all kinds of studio interference, as told in his book If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor:

“Crimewave was a lesson about abject failure — no matter how you slice it, the film was a dog, and everyone involved can pretty much line up and take forty whacks. As filmmakers, we failed to execute a misguided concept and our studio refused us the benefit of any doubt.”

The movie follows two psychotic hitmen who double as exterminators (played by Brion James and Paul Smith). They are hired by the co-owner of a security company to eliminate his partner, who is trying to sell the business behind his back to Renaldo aka “The Heel” (Bruce Campbell). Along the way a number of people accidentally cross paths with the hitmen, leading to a series of goofy chase scenes and cartoony murders, until they encounter a nerdy security technician (Reed Birney) who is trying to win the heart of a girl (Sheree J. Wilson).

Raimi is known for his love of The Three Stooges, but I have never seen it shine through quite like it does in Crimewave. The movie is filled with all kinds of weird slapstick moments and cartoon sound effects. There are plenty of POV shots and silly set pieces, culminating in a pretty epic high-speed three car chase sequence. Some of the stunts are impressive, while others are pretty campy and fake-looking.

This is Sam Raimi at his most hyper real, and I can see it turning off a lot of viewers. Anyone who disliked the dance scene in the jazz club from Spider-Man 3, for example, will probably hate this movie. I still had a lot of fun to watching all the camera tricks and the hammy performances from Bruce Campbell et al, however the movie itself is very nearly incoherent.

It’s hard to say how much influence The Coen Brothers actually had on this movie. Their quirky sense of humour seems to permeate some of the proceedings, although the dialogue itself is certainly not on the same level of cleverness that they are known for today. The Coens would go on to direct Hudsucker Proxy afterward, which Sam Raimi co-wrote and Bruce Campbell starred in (incidentally, Crimewave also has a prison in it called “Hudsucker Penitentiary”). Raimi would return to his independent roots to shoot Evil Dead 2.

I can certainly understand why Crimewave has been sort of abandoned, and left hidden from the public eye. It’s not a particularly brilliant movie, and it’s easily one of the weakest projects that any of these great filmmakers have been involved in. I can also understand why the studio execs might have been a little bit unhappy with the final product, especially considering that it went over budget (the Columbia Pictures logo at the start of the film seems very out of place). Still, this is a movie that will certainly be of interest to hardcore Sam Raimi fans, and it has its share of fun moments. If you can get your hands on a copy without paying through the nose, I’d still recommend giving it a chance.

Yes, I understand that Kristin Kreuk is hot beyond words. Yes, I understand that her stint on Smallville has given her a little name recognition. But come on. Is anyone (in any real numbers) actually going to run out to see this thing? I seriously won’t be surprised if this project never even makes it to wide release. I could be wrong on that… I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised.

Anyway, the good folks over at MovieWeb have pointed out that the official Japanese website for the film has now quasi-lanuched (I’ll never understand why studios launch websites that don’t have anything on them yet… but that’s a topic for another post) as well as the first poster.

See the website here. See the poster below.

Law is rockin the stache! I’ve got to tell ya folks, this is a movie I’m just dying to see. Not just because of the solid cast. Not just because one of my favorite directors, Guy Ritchie, is helming it. But mostly because I think Sherlock Holmes is one of the coolest and most interesting fictional characters across all mediums ever. Damn I wish it was coming out next week.

But could it possibly work as a movie for ALL audiences? (The book was previously adapted in 1972, won the jury prize at Cannes, but failed to connect with viewers.)

Yes, insists Guillermo Del Toro, who lists “Slaughterhouse-Five” among his many possible post-“Hobbit” projects. The trick, he says, is to marry modern techniques in digital wizardry with new narrative possibilities.

“The book is so experimental in so many ways - now that movies have the possibility of being non-linear, you have so many possibilities to do the book honor by attempting at it.,” he said. “You could not tell that novel if your filmic language was [strictly] academic.

“One of the main things is that you can do the juxtapositions of time because the way academic storytelling would tell you is that there are flashforwards and flashbacks,” he continued. “But the reality is the whole essence of the book is that the character is unstuck in time. Unstuck in time. So you do the implications of what that means, but you are really going into pushing narrative. You’re not watching a flashback and you’re not watching a flashforward.”

To accomplish that seamless visual, Del Toro is turning to new advances in digital technology, he said.

“And when I talk about digital effects please don’t imagine that pejoratively,” he added. “I talk about truly pushing narrative.”

Del Toro wouldn’t speak towards whether or not he planned on including the Vonnegutian narrator character as well - who talks in a lengthy opening about his troubles in writing the novel.

(Speaking Vonnegut, be sure to also read our previous report on the upcoming adaptation of his “Sirens of Titan.”)

Is Guillermo Del Toro the man to bring Vonnegut to the big-screen? Does his reading of the story’s framing resonate? Could the film, like the book, truly exist with just thematic connectors? Sound off on all your thoughts below. Poo-tee-weet?

At various points during the film’s development, many have speculated that Catherine Hardwicke’s movie would run between 90 and 100 minutes, a typical length for most teen-oriented films. Since Meyer’s novel stands it at about 500 pages, concerns had naturally been raised over which beloved moments would need to be cut.

With this news from Summit Entertainment, however, fans can find solace in knowing that the love story of Edward and Bella will be allowed a good two hours to develop. While we’re still not talking P.T. Anderson or Martin Scorsese length, 120 minutes is seen by most Hollywood insiders as long enough to tell a good story, but not so unwieldy that fewer showings need to be scheduled each day (thereby losing opening weekend revenue).

With “Twilight” in its final run before release, the film has unveiled its last “Twilight” trailer, “Twilight” poster, and “Twilight” theater-lobby banner in the last few days to a rapturous response from the vampire franchise’s rabid fanbase.

The film hits theaters November 21st, and fans have already begun efforts online to organize theater-sidewalk sleepovers in the days before it starts playing.

How do you feel about the runtime? In your opinion, which key “Twilight” scenes absolutely must make it into Catherine’s final cut?